Twitch from elephant on the chest to humming bird

Can you relate to a real life situation where your arms fall to the ground and you feel a heavy *tunk* in your chest? Your face warms up, hands shiver and you inner-gasp to get back in control?

When that happens to me I can’t sit still. I’m so much into the trauma and drama of my soap-opera that I keep on moving. Sit, stand, grab my face with a grunt, take the keys to get out for a walk and decide I should definitely see a movie to relax and help not to think. I’d whatsapp the characters, smash a phone into the ground, howl into the wind like a wounded wolf.
I put up a big mess to cast the tragic scenario of my life and I act desperate to match with my confused feelings.

Today I just stopped playing that for a flake of second and asked to myself: Fine, now: is that creating more or less into my life? Is that expansive?

Then why would I choose it?

The shivering turned down and dropped, just like the heat on my face and I couldn’t wipe a sudden smile off my face.
Was that true to me? Than why on earth would i choose it?!
And guess what? Dropping all that drama allowed me to have instantly MORE space. I wasn’t functioning from a itty bitty space of sadness or jealousy or vengeance or anger. I wasn’t choosing the lack of possibilities, instead I opted for something else. That would make me happier. That would make me light.
Less trapped into judgment and polarity of hassle/best buddy. Less into defense mode. Less scared.
More open. More willing to receive, whatever that was. More peaceful and smiling, standing on my feet.

There is something about the possibilities of MORE – more tequila, more love, more anything. More is better.

Grey’s Anatomy

Would you carry an elephant on your chest if you could instead twitch into being an humming bird and fly from hibiscus to hibiscus?
What are you willing to let go, today?

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